What is a perfect family? When I was growing up I thought it was me, mom, dad and my brother in our little home for always. Today I know it is love and peace in many forms.
My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My dreams were shattered, my home was broken. My mom was devastated, my family existed in two homes and my heart torn between the two.
It was that time that I began the journey of wanting to make sure my mom was taken care of. She was battling an illness at the time of her divorce that many do not understand or even believe in- anxiety, fear, panic. I have seen the devastation of this illness and have experienced it myself. I was so fearful myself that she wouldn't survive the changes. I was sad that our family ended during a critical time in her life.
Over many years our family had ups and downs. We learned new ways of living and surviving and I learned how to have 2 families. There were good days and bad. I discovered the strengths of both my parents. My mom, my dad and my step-mom have all have been loving, integral parts of my life. Eventually we all moved on to the new normal.
This post is dedicated to the strength of my mother.
Growing up my family attended churches from time to to time and I believed in God, but never really knew him. Neither did my mom. In 1993 I discovered a real relationship with Jesus Christ and gave my heart to him. A couple years later my mom did the same. WOW, did our lives change. We found faith, hope and wonder! We even experienced freedom from the fear we once had that crippled us both.
Year after year I witnessed my mom deal with fear, loss and heartbreak. With the loss of her mom and another marriage I expected her to just crumble. SHE DIDN'T. Yes, she was broken. BUT not defeated.
Recently my mom lost her job she gave her all to. Since she lived on site, she also lost her home. Here we go again. What now? Fear gripped me, but amidst the change my mom was welcomed into her sisters home. For now I know she is taken care of. Even with no income, no insurance, and no job I began to see her become less stressed. It seems the job was tearing her down so bad we hadn't even realized it. My mom has since lost some weight, began moving & exercising more, gained new strength and can breathe easier! For me the best thing she has gained is her smile and laughter. I am amazed that a loss brought about new life.
Do we never fear? Of course not but oh how we conquer it day by day.
Does she have fear of the future? Some, but has the knowledge that God is her provider.
Does she face lonely times? Probably, but is reminded how many love her and she is never ever alone.
Mom, I want you to know that I ADMIRE YOU. You have always been my number one supporter through any thing life has tossed at me. Know that I am yours.